Let’s talk about Millionaire’s Shortbread…

… for this is what I ate, post-lunch, at G&D’s, a popular ice cream hang-out in Oxford.

My goodness, folks: if you haven’t had a slice warmed-up and served with a dollop of the good stuff, then you haven’t lived. An oozing seam of caramel, hot milk chocolate slithering on to the plate… YES. You’ve got to be quick though: leave it too long and the ice cream DESTROYS the melting effect.

For a while back in my teendom I was a major connoisseur of the Millionaire’s Shortbread. You know how it is (or maybe you don’t): fixating on a particular cake, and being compelled to try it everywhere you go (before the shortbread, it was lemon cake). Spurred on by a like-minded boyfriend, I sampled a lot of the things. A LOT. And most were hugely disappointing.

Failing Millionaire’s Shortbread Makers: take heed! Stop skimping on the chocolate, for starters. And don’t even think of insulting us with chocolate substitutes. You’re fooling no-one. Stuff more caramel in there: MORE. And make it gooey, I say. With the crispest, most buttery base you can muster. Only then will you pleasure my tastebuds.

Anyhoo, I’ve been diverted. Back to puddings. There was stewed rhubarb after dinner (yum, yum). And a swanky HESTON BLUMENTHAL MINCE PIE…

With a pine sugar dusting for the top, and a cast of mouth-watering fillers (including lemon curd and rosewater), naturally my expectations were set to stun. Alas, Monsieur Blumenthal, despite all your spectacular ingredients, your mince pie tasted… just like a mince pie. Add some dry ice next time, and maybe I’ll be more impressed.


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