So. The Oreo is 100 years old this week. According to the Beeb, it’s the best selling cookie in the world. Imagine that! Throughout the land, legions of Oreo lovers must have been celebrating heartily: whacking open barrowloads of packets and dunking the contents in glasses of milk.
Not me though, Ogglers.
In fact, I’m about to say something quite controversial, so prepare yourself…
I don’t like Oreo cookies.
There. I said it.
And I feel like some kind of anomaly too.
I have plenty of English friends who like them, you see – people who happily much their way right through a pack in one go. In theory, I can see why: a chocolate biscuit sandwich, with a sweet creamy filling. What’s not to like?
Well, the biscuits mainly. They’re so… dusty. Not mouth-watering in the slightest. Not crumbly either, or chewy – like all the best cookies are – but brittle and somehow unsatisfying. Taste-wise, I find them pretty bitter too – a nasty thing to linger at the back of my throat. And let’s be perfectly honest here: they don’t even taste much like chocolate.
The vanilla cream would not be so bad if only there were more of it – as it is, it’s completely overpowered (as if the two biscuits are holding it against its will, like a pair of bad-mouthed prison guards).
Still, such is the power of advertising – Oreo cookies everywhere – that I always forget just how much I dislike them until I venture to try them again. And so it came to pass yesterday. This’ll be tasty, thought I, as I reached for a bag of miniature cookies brought back for me from Hong Kong [is there anywhere that doesn’t sell Oreos these days??].
As usual, my positive feelings did not last long. As soon as I opened them up I knew – from the smell; the dry texture; those blackening crumbs on the worktop – that these much celebrated cookies will never be able to float my boat.
But what do you think, dear Ogglers? Am I a freak for not liking them? Have my tastebuds somehow malfunctioned? Or are there others of you out there who, like me, are baffled about all this fuss?
Somebody, please, just tell me I’m not going crazy. Because right now (*sniff*) I have never felt quite so alone…