If there’s one thing you should do today, it is this: visit This Is Why You’re Fat. There you will find forty-seven pages of the most ludicrous edible creations known to man, more often than not involving doughnuts, bacon, copious amounts of cheese – or all of the above. I’ve seen dishes on there that have made my head spin: from the utterly disgusting (try Chocolate Brie en Croute), to the totally weird (Tempura-Fried Cheesecake, anyone?) and frighteningly tempting (if I’m honest, I could murder a Deep-Fried Peanut Butter covered Brownie wrapped in Cookie Dough right now).
It’s certainly not a site for people who like playing by the rules (melted cheese? In a mug made of BACON?!) – and it’s probably not great for dieters either, given all those naughty ideas. Still, I find it extremely liberating – and can’t look at it without grinning maniacally. As you scroll through the hundreds of glistening photos, it’s as if healthy eating just never existed. There’s no such thing as too much. No such thing as ‘nutritional value’. If the components exist you can squeeze them together – then chuck ’em in a fryer if you fancy it. Just don’t go blaming anyone else when your arteries burst…
Anyway, the reason the site was in my mind this morning was down to a TIWYF-type homage I munched through last night. My friend Mimi came round for dinner, having promised to bring along pudding. In her typical way she appeared at my door with two. One of them – a chocolate trifle from Sainsbury’s – is safe in the fridge for a later date. But the other was pure fatty fantasy.
It was a DIY job, assembled in the kitchen from a few choice ingredients, and apparently a favourite from her childhood. The ‘recipe’? A supermarket raspberry jam doughnut, covered in slices of Mars Bar, blasted in the microwave and served with a pouring of cool double cream. Woah.
As insane as it might look and sound, the results were surprisingly lovely (and virtually akin to carrot sticks, compared to most of the puddings on TIWYF). Now, I’ll admit I’m not the biggest doughnut fan, but I am a huge fan of goo (as you Ogglers all know by now), and it turns out that this is one of the gooiest things you can make in under a minute. Melty fudge sauce, warm raspberry jam, soft mushy dough and oodles of sugar. Not for the faint-hearted of course (by which I mean those with a dodgy ticker), but an excellent example of what I will term ‘To Hell With It’ puddings.
To put it another way, to hell with the fat! To hell with the calories! Give in to your pudly desires! Every once in a while can’t hurt.
Just don’t zap the doughnut for too long – it might explode. And apparently molten jam hurts quite a lot…