The Kooky Slice.

It’s Friday folks, and you know what that means: the weekend is just around the corner. Hooray! Who knows what wonderful treats will lie in store? Oh, the possibilities…

If you’ve got your head screwed on (and your feet in a London postcode), you may already be zoning in on the Chocolate Lab for Sunday Brunch – and a jolly good time you’ll have too. Still, there’s no need to confine your hogging to there. Oh no. Because not so very far away, in the chambers of Brick Lane, is a cake you’d be INSANE to miss.

I do not say this lightly, Ogglers. There are a lot of people out there and a lot of cakes to match them with – no point in wasting time. What’s more, I am all too aware that there’s nothing worse than a disappointing dessert. So trust me when I say: YOU NEED TO TRY THIS CAKE.

Its name? The Kooky Slice. Its creators? Kooky Bakes, who base themselves at the Sunday UpMarket (every Sunday, in case you were wondering).

What’s that, dear reader? You’d like to see this fabled slice? Well, since you ask so nicely, here it is:

Ta-Dah!

Now, at a quick glance, you might not think it looks that special – if I’m honest, the first time I saw it, neither did I. Then I heard exactly what it was: a base of salted pretzels, baked with chunks of chocolate (dark and white), pecan nuts, dulce de leche and shredded coconut. Oh, and another thing I should probably mention: more often than not, the slices are HUGE; if I ever achieve my dream of an edible house, I’ll be using these things for bricks.

I doubt it’ll take too long for my edible house to collapse though – given that I’ll be gnawing at my bricks ALL THE GOD DANG TIME. Honestly, Ogglers. What more could you need from a cake? It’s got two types of chocolate, it’s got nuts, it’s got crunch, it’s got softness, it’s got salt, it’s got sugar, and – most importantly of all – it’s got the most exciting thick seam of sweet caramel goo you could ever hope to sink your molars into.

Truly, it is a masterstroke of baking genius – and it brings a tear to my eye to think I lived a whole quarter of a century without eating one. Until last year, when I finally had my first slice, I simply didn’t realise that all cakes should contain at least one thick seam of goo. What a fool I feel like now! It seems so obvious in hindsight…

Anyway, now I’ve passed on this wisdom, you too can go forth and preach the New Way. Just try and go via the Kooky Bakes stall – if you’re a real pudding pilgrim, you will not be disappointed.

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