Apologies for the hiatus, folks. I walked into a doorway (as you do) and found myself slightly concussed for a while. Note to self: MUST CROUCH MORE.
Anyhoo, you’ll be pleased to hear that – after a few hours of nausea – my appetite was mainly unaffected.
You’ll be even more pleased to hear that, before I bashed my noggin, I went to one of the loveliest weddings I have ever had the fortune to attend.
There were plenty of things to rave about – the people, the setting, the piglets next-door (who all enjoyed a nice tickle – tee hee).
Adorable animal antics aside, however, from a Pud-Hog point of view it was surely the table of cakes what won it.
You should have seen it, Ogglers: an amazing array of home-made beauties, brought by friends and family members. At the centre of it all, instead of the traditional three-tiered fruit cake, was the pièce de résistance: an enormous gooey Chocolate Log, adorned with mini models of the couple and their daughter.
After hours of the guests swarming round it in admiration, we were eventually given access to the goodies after dinner, which itself included Berries and Meringue, as well as a delicious Chocolate Pecan Pie.
Looks excellent, doesn’t it? Perfect shortcrust pastry, whole pecans and moist chocolate filling… Hell yes.
But, of course, it was only the warm-up. For as soon as the first round of pudding had been cleared, the home-made cakes were moved into position.
The moment was tense.
All afternoon, the Man and I had been wondering what to try. Everything looked so fresh and delicious – how on earth would we choose just one thing each?
More to the point, what if our hunger for puddings broke the laws of wedding etiquette?
Not a problem, Ogglers.
Not. A. Problem.
First, we pooled our table’s resources, plotting with the folks around us to each bring a different cake back to our camp. That brought us five to try in one fell swoop.
As for the rest of them, the solution was surprisingly simple: ask permission from the Groom’s lovely Ma to take a sliver of what was left.
To my delight, she said yes! As it happened, this was not your normal wedding arrangement, but a beautiful cakey buffet…
I took pictures of some of the offerings before they disappeared down our throats, so prepare yourself for a round-up. This courgette cake, for example, was divine. Three whole layers of sultanas, moist courgette and citrussy buttercream icing…
I convinced myself it was good for me (surely one of my five-a-day?) but didn’t really need an excuse to enjoy it.
Same with cake number two:
This was the Lemon Surprise Cake – studded with cherries if I’m remembering rightly (so therefore good for the health as well, I’m sure). As you can probably tell, it was extremely flavoursome and light – and just look at that golden colour!
Also on offer at this bounteous baking buffet (but not snapped up by the camera in time) was a perfect Victoria Sponge, a vegan Carrot Cake (lovely and cinnamony if my taste buds recall), the most luscious of Banana Breads (with chocolate chips, no less!), Coffe and Walnut Cake (classic), thick-buttered slices of Fruit Bread (*drool*), and an amazing Chocolate Sponge with a fresh Raspberries and Cream at its centre, and solid chocolate covering the top. With hordes of cupcakes to boot, it was a spread so good I almost married it myself.
And that’s not even the end of it!
There was, of course, the Chocolate Log, which Man-Pa brought to the table for tasting. A worthy centre-piece, if ever I’ve tried one: creamy, chocolatey, thick, melty.
But nothing – nothing – could prepare us for the madness of the Chocolate Crunch Cake.
I mean, just look at it:
Contained within this masterful creation was the thickest, richest chocolate icing I have ever tasted, a bucketload of raspberries, silver balls, Galaxy Minstrels and Dolly Mixture, and an incredible sponge that was not only flavoured with chocolate, but… GUINNESS.
Mouth-wateringly sweet and gooey – and so intense that the Man spaced out for twenty minutes afterwards – this beast has been on my mind ever since.
Word on the street is that it was born from a Delia Smith recipe, so my life’s mission is now to recreate it. Could be tricky though: by the time I’ve made up all that icing, I might be having second thoughts…
One thing I am certain of, however, is that if I ever get married, I need to get a wedding spread like this. Honestly, Ogglers: what better way to kickstart a life of marital bliss, than a table groaning with cakey excess?
If you ask me, the Bride and Groom have got it sorted: if their life after this is even half as lovely, they are in for a very sweet time indeed…