Junk Bars, Dirtballs & Cookie Dough Truffles.

Do you remember when I wrote about Cake Pops?

They were delicious – but I couldn’t quite see the point of the stick. Why not just dole out balls of Cake, I wondered? Why bother adding to landfill?

Well, in December, I came across these, fresh from the Kooky Bakes stall (no.7 on my Top Ten Pud Producers list):

That's more like it

Not a stick in sight

These were more like what I’d envisioned – stick-free clumps with exciting fillings: Cookie Dough, ‘Dirtball’ and Peanut Butter Pretzel.

With each £4 bag holding four tasty Truffles, the only issue I then had was deciding what to buy.

For a while I stood there, agonising.

Then, just as I was ready to make my choice, I saw something even more thrilling: a bag of thick Chocolate shards, littered with Pretzels, Peanut M&Ms, and – wait for it – READY SALTED CRISPS.

And the name of this shameless creation?

Well, it could only be: the Junk Bar.

So filthy...

Filthy. In a good way

How the heck was a Hog to resist?

In the end I skipped home with a bag of goodies – not just slabs of Junk but Truffles too.

The Cookie Dough kind were delicious: extremely moist, jam-packed with Chocolate Chips, and – as far as my taste buds could tell – very faintly alcoholic (a hint of Rum, perhaps? Or maybe a potent shot of Vanilla…).

The Dirtballs, meanwhile, were not quite so much of a textural thrill, but tasty nonetheless, with innards of Chocolate Fudge Cake and Oreo crumbs on their Dark Chocolate coats.

In both cases, however, it was the size that really won me over: each ball took two or three bites to vanish (just as all good Truffles should).

And as for the Junk Bar… well… that’s a whole different class of Hoggery.

What with all those crunchy toppings, its shards were near impossible to eat slowly.

Indeed, its whole make-up demands that you chomp every mouthful with gusto, working your jaw like a garbage compactor.

Chocolate, Peanuts, Pretzel, Potato – none taste quite so good when sucked. Of course, this is great if you’re in the mood for a mindless few minutes of munching; not so much so if you’re after a night of indulgence.

Thankfully, that evening I fancied the former, so down the chute it went.

You can’t leave junk lying around, after all…


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